It’s that time of year where all the ‘New Year, New Me’
fucktard stuff gets thrown around on the internet. So I thought, I would join
in. This is the only New Year’s resolution I’m having this year and I really
think it should be one for your list too. ‘Be more body positive’. I’ve written
out some steps to help you as best I can. (Basically this is just me avoiding
dieting because I believe Dorito’s and Guacamole to be better than sex.)
Step One. Understand what ‘body positivity’ is.
Body Positivity is a response to a culture that has
conditioned us into thinking that white, skinny, tall, big breasted, long hair
is beautiful and everything else is not quite as good. It’s fighting back
against the belief that plus size is ugly, that lumps and bumps are gross and
muscle means man. Basically, in short, Body Positivity is calling out the
bullshit. It’s not about being curvy, or being plus size, or being short, or
being tall. It’s about loving the skin you’re in, no matter what skin that
happens to be. Being body positive doesn’t mean you’re never allowed to diet or
wear make-up or change the way you look. It’s about learning to find the beauty
in you and what you have and giving the middle finger to anything that
challenges self-love. I.e. women’s magazines (don’t get me started)
Step Two. Begin with the end in sight.
If you’re about to go on a diet, the best advice I can give
is to envision yourself at the end. Look at yourself once you’ve lost the
weight and ask yourself honestly how you feel. Do you feel happier being a
stone lighter? Has this changed your life? Can you do more things now you’ve
lost weight? IF yes, then great, lose weight. But really understand before you
do anything if it’s actually what you want to do and not what you think you
need to do. So many people set themselves goals and by the end of it they
realise it’s not actually what they wanted. Some people are happier being a few
sizes bigger. Dieting shouldn’t be hard, if you really really want to lose the
weight you should be able to do it. If you’re finding dieting an uphill battle
every time you attempt it, then stop. Stop and think about what you actually
want and what makes you happy. If you need to lose weight for health reason
then don’t diet, change your lifestyle, cut out the bad stuff. There’s no need
to go to extremes.
Step three. Stalk yourself.
This one sounds weird BUT there’s no better way to learn to
love you than stalking yourself. Think about all those girls you stalk in
Instagram for ages (don’t lie and pretend you don’t, we all do). You sit in awe
at how great their selfies look followed by that shit yourself feeling when you
accidentally double tap. Look through your own social media accounts and find
pictures you like, I bet you’ll find more than you think. Go back to a time you
thought were ‘prettier’ or ‘skinnier’. Now think about if you were happier or
not. I look back on photos where I weigh a stone less. It makes me feel so
bloody shit but then I know how I felt back then and I wasn’t any happier, I
still wasn’t happy about the way I looked. I was a twat that didn’t realise she
had abs of steel and an ass that kept on giving. Now instead of concentrating on the way I look
in each photo I’ve picked up the ability to look at the way I’m feeling. Once
you master that it’s pretty great and you’ll untag far less photos.
Step four. Own your flaws.
I’ve found that talking openly about my flaws makes it
easier for me to accept them. Especially as when I tell people about them they
either have never noticed, or have the exact same flaws. It’s always great when
you confide in a girl about your cellulite and her reply is “Oh my god I have
the same problem”, I mean it’s kinda messed up but it feels good! Once you
recognise your flaws you can learn to love them, if not love then at least grow
fond of them. My knees for example, I have no knees. I’m not being modest or
fishing for compliments, they do not exist, where my knees should be is just a
mound of wrinkled fat. No matter how much weight I lose I will never have
knees. I’ve learnt to love my cushions knee replacements though, I mean if I
ever need to knee a guy in the cock I know that I won’t do much damage. Guys
can sleep easy at night knowing that I have chubby knees. Another thing worth
doing is finding people, maybe even celebs with similar flaws. I used to feel a
bit funny about my stubby fingers until I watched a clip of Elizabeth Taylor
laughing about her stubby fingers, my God I have never complained about them
again.
Finally. Step five. Know your triggers.
That sounds a bit weird and like you’re the hulk or something.
Basically what I mean is what triggers you into feeling shit about your body?
Is it when you go clubbing? When you see models in magazines? When you scroll Instagram?
Find these triggers and either create a way of you not having to face that or a
way to control it and turn it into something positive. For example I used to
follow soooooo many insta hot girls, I was obsessed, I loved their style and
their make-up HOWEVER every time I saw one I felt awful about the way I looked.
So, I unfollowed them all and followed girls that inspired me to think positively,
some of these also happen to be super-hot but it’s a very different message
they’re promoting. I also used to feel shit when I got tagged in photos, to the
point where I deleted Facebook. SILLY SOPHIE. You’re not going to look good in
every photo but if you’re feeling good and smiling you will always love it.
Most my photos were me pulling a funny gurning face so I had an excuse to look
ugly. I know I’m not the only girl that does this. Now I learn to just smile
and not worry about the outcome but just enjoy that moment.
I hope this was a little bit helpful and a push in the right
direction. If it wasn’t, well, I did write this quite late with my cat lying
across my right arm but my intentions were that of purity and love.
“Now every
girl is expected to have Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic
button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall
ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner,
the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The
person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we
know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes.” – Tina Fey.